Must do things in Montenrgro!

MUST DO THINGS IN MONTENRGRO!

1. You should fly to Tivat and be surprised, that this tiny airport handing capacity can reach 60 planes per day.
2. To visit any cafe and realized that "lemonade" it's not a sweet soda, but a freshly squeezed lemon juice with sugar and cold water.
3. To drink coffee in Budva, near Old Town and looking at marina, remember that "marina" it's not a feminine name.
4. To order the main national dish "Prshut" and understand that our balyk "Darnitskiy" in not worse.
5. To rent a car and go to the grade one-lane earth-road without safety fence over linn of 500 meters. To find no place where to turn around. To drive through an oncoming car, hanging 2 wheels over the linn. To be born for the second time. To swear driving just over the official routes. Forswear. To swear one more time. To repeat.
6. To visit Milocher, have a walk around the park, which was planted by the former Serbian Kings of the Karageorgevich. To understand that one can breathe the air and even "eat" it. To breathe the air of needles, eucalyptus and olives. To have a swim on "Kralichnij" beach. To realize that "kralya" is the queen.
7. To reach flashy island of Sveti Stefan, to admire its beauty, than swarm up the road and decide that the top view is quite enough to have a general idea about this place.
8. Go to Boka-Kotor Bay and to see pink mountains and decide that Assol was waiting for Grey somewhere here.
9. Spent a lot of time learning the name of the city Perast, in order not to make a mistake.
10. To reach an artificial island near Perast, to visit the temple of Our Lady of the Rocks. Be surprised with the fact that there's an Orthodox icon in the Catholic temple. To hear a story about fish men, who were taken stones here for 200 years to create this island and had scuttled 100 Turkish ships. Fully realize that the fish men, who founded the city, had nothing in common with the pirates.
11. To come to Kotor in the evening and have a walk along the streets of Old Town. To see the fortress on the hill, where some dozens of brave Montenegrins destroyed the 15 thousand Turkish army. And be puzzled why The Turks climbed there.
12. To take a coffee near the walls of Old Kotor and drink it till late night. To wait for the down and be amazed with the fortress illumination.
13. Learn a few words in serbian.
14. Go to the south to Ulcinj and unexpectedly find yourself in an Eastern city with the minarets. To buy a pendant in local jewelry shop.
15. To taste sweet wormwood liqueur "Bitter leaf" with ice and lemon. To buy 3 liters and to take home. To drink 2 liters before departure.
16. To visit "Velika Plaza". Go swimming and find out that the water side is very shallow at least for 200 metres and it's not possible to swim there, just waist-deep.
17. Go to " Ada Bojana" to visit one of the small restaurants with the freshest and tasteful Montenegrin fish and have relax...to order a fish for 5 killograms. To eat the rests of the fish at least for 5 days. To decide that it's time to finish with the fish for the next year.
18. To visit Bar, to buy Italian cloth. To see Olive tree, which is 200years old. Have a walk along the ruins of Old Bar. To take photos against the background of a piece of the defensive wall, which looks like it was bitten and put here.
19. To look for a place with a tasteless coffee and be desperate in search. To look for place with a tasteful tea and realize that you should drink just coffe. Or a red wine, or white, or bear.
20. Stop to hurry up somewhere. Have relax. Realize that everything is useless except the sea, the sun, smiles and peace of mind.
21. To visit Cetinje, old capital. Come up to kiss the spear hand of John the Baptist. Listen to the monk telling about how much of good things were done by Russian Emperors. Be surprized that the Montenegrins remember this.
22. Go to Lovchen and to observe three countries from the peak of Petro Negosh's Mausoleum: Montenegro, Serbia and Albania. Have a lunch at a restaurant "Panorama" enjoying a unique view. Go below, forswear not to drive up the mountains.
23. To be tired of fish, start enjoying meat.

You have been living in Momtenegro for a lond time, if...

... do not pay attention to mandarins fallen from the tree.
... having your guests, treat them with a glass of water, a cup of coffee and propose a glass of rakia.
... usual breakfast is burek and pita and you think that ... krofne and croissant are for flossing.
... you used to heavy smoked cafes, so the bill is not seen because of the smoke.
... your working day stars with a cup of coffee and consists of get-together in various cafes on the sea shore. You do not understand how ever you could work 9 to 5 in an airless office.
... you know that yoghurt it's not something small, color and sweet, but a liter box of white, similar to kefir and it just more tasteful.
... enjoy sitting on the terrace, drinking coffee and watching people passing by.
... surprised that a waiter took an order quickly, at that time he changes ash-trays every 5 minutes.
... you take a saltcellar before you try the course.
... restaurant, where the bill is 10 Euro for 2 persons, you consider expensive.
... you take easy when even five year old children use foul language. They do not even swear, they communicate.
... your neighbors know what you have for breakfast thanks to the local apartment planning. And thanks to the special aspects of local acoustic isolation they know a lot about you...
... you know that no matter how spacious flat the Montenegrin has, there's always a bedroom sized to the wardrobe.
... you forger to close a front door before night.
... you forger to close a car and left a key inside.
... you have stopped look around convulsively crossing the street: the drivers should know where you go.
... slow down a car not to splash the pedestrians.
... it's not longer meaning of life to put the hammer down after the light change.
... an indent on your car wing is no longer a reason to visit a car workshop.
... 5 liter engine jeep sets wondering, how it pushes its way between the narrow streets and how much oil it consumes.
... if a dog barks at you, you think it had a bad day.
... waiting for a plumber, electrician or any other service person, you leave the house for your business.
... you get used that your shoes is frayed quicker than became dirty.
... if you see a Montenegrin working, you think that you dreaming.
... if you are told "it will be ready in 2 weeks" you understand the following "try to come in 6 month"
... it's considered a normal thing to leave your things before the entrance to the supermarket and on return to find it still there.
... you are not annoyed by the cars stopped at the intersection just to have chat with a neighbor.
... every second thought about sex.
... you do not try to see the face of a woman, you just know what to expect.
... you do not believe to your eyes, if you see a girl in a skirt, not in a jeans.
... you consider craziness to swim at the sea, if temperature below 26 degrees.
... you are sincerely surprised if there's no holiday according to the calendar.
... you do not shudder with a shot. It means birthday or wedding, or "our team" scored.
... do not remember any toast, except "Zhyveli!"
... you doze off after lunch.
... you are not surprised that there's no one at working place after 4p.m.
... start to get used to the tradition to kiss three times your friends (and not only) each time you meet them or good bye.
... you are not surprised that men greet each other by kissing, but the girls are greet by hand shaking
... the salesman at the market, know your age and where are you from.
... you greet not only your neighbors, but every passer-by in your area.
... making visit, you do not take off your shoes.
... you start kissing your friend on the street and do not pay attention that you interfere a bus to go.
... if you asked a question "where are you?" and the answer was "I'm in Bar", you know that a person is in the town of Bar.